So, many of you may have noticed that there have been almost no new games released recently. Well, I think I can lay some theories on you, starting with the most unlikely and illogical:
1. They were all hit by meteorites. At once.
Well, I did say that it wasn’t very likely. That is, all except Remedy, who still managed to pull out an awful DLC.
2. Every gaming company is trying to get some achievements.
It’s not that likely- I mean, really, what’s a better pulling move than “I have a 30,000 Gamerscore!”? Well, lots of things. The fact that you work for a company is more likely going to get you on the pull. And even if they are working on their scores, did they stop to think that no one cares? It’s just a number.
3. They’re all trying to get a bigger farm than the rest of the company on Farmville.
Isn’t it sad that this is likely? Apparently Facebook is the future of gaming, as quoted by Cliff Bleszinski. Just another reason to hate him, right guys? I’ll be damned if my future consists of some active game where I play with bloody cats, and games that I need to have over 9,000 friends to beat.
4. They’re all shittin’ themselves because of KINECT.
It could be (and probably is) a load of lies, but according to Penny Arcade, it does actually cause baseline fear from just plugging it in.
5. They’re all playing DeathSpank.
This game is awesome, and had to be mentioned. If they aren’t all doing this, then they should go read The Goon so they’ll have done at least one decent thing during this lull.
6. There actually isn’t a stub.
Well, the conservatives won the election through sheer bull-shittery. This is making me believe there isn’t a stub and it’s just that England has been closed off from the rest of the world. This has to make more sense than most of the others.
7. They’re all at the beach.
This isn’t top because in my mind, game company employees don’t go outside. And I want to keep it that way.
8. All the game companies are waiting for Christmas to get the largest audience possible.
I mean, what could be a better approach than forcing some guy, who’s most notable feature is the fact he sneaks into your house, to sell your games for you? I suppose the second best thing would be to just take the money, because then you have the game and the money!
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