Rockin’ Stone Quarry Simulator

March 30, 2012 | by Custard Trout | Reviews

So, Stone Quarry Simulator. What can be said about Stone Quarry Simulator? Well not a great deal…

I’m sure you’re all excited to hear how “solid” this game is, after all it is “Rocking”.

So what is it all about? Well, you play a classy stone quarry manager, diggin’ deep and diggin’ hard. You have to fill orders from customers for rocks, gravel and other stone goodies. As the orders pile up the weather changes, and you have to work in the rain! Oh no!

There are a few quarries to pick from, each more deadly than the last! Not really, they’re all just a bit different in size and shape. Also they have different materials. The first one being marble. As you expand you can get more equipment, that are “accurately reproduced excavation machines” according to the information sheet.

Now, I am not exactly proud of my quarry knowledge, so you can imagine my joy when I bought a giant chainsaw because chainsaws make it all better. The giant chainsaw attaches onto a truck so it becomes a kind of giant chainsaw wrecking machine.

So after about twenty minutes of swapping the front of my truck pretending to be a transformer I thought I best go to work. So how does the simulator actually simulate doing work? Well, it makes it a lot easier. Basically, each task is accomplished by holding the space bar in a different way.

I don’t mean things like, upside, swinging, or in space. I mean pressing it for a few seconds, and pressing it for a few more seconds. Each tool over heats in a different way and you have to avoid letting it over heat. (It is so exhilarating.)

As you climb the ladder you get some new tools and equipment. Why am I even bothering with this? Is anyone reading it? Are the Stone Quarry Workers eagerly anticipating the release of this? Are the stoners excited? Do they think it’s a game about them?

One big issue with the game, aside from the fact it’s about digging… Is that it doesn’t make things clear, the tutorial clears a lot up but there is no map, or at least to my knowledge. So when you have to drive out of the quarry to drop items off it can be a little confusing. And it doesn’t tell you how to make the actual items, I had to use Google to figure out what “Rail Ballast” was, and I never did figure out how to actually make it

The best thing is probably the psychics engine, it’s so broken! When you drive over a pile of rocks the truck will sometimes hurl into the air and off the screen, it’s brilliant. To be fair, when I did a job I actually felt really accomplished, this is something that games rarely do for me, so hats off on that one!

I was obviously not too enthusiastic about this game, so it’s hard to say if I thought it was better than it was because it was so bad, or if it was actually good. I do not think it’s the latter to be honest.

Here’s a video, because you kids love videos right? It’s of the tutorial because I got all my vehicles stuck in piles of rocks.