Hey kids, want to hear a funny joke? A man stands near a ripped open cable, then someone kicks him in to it, ain’t that a shocker?
That is just one of many, many delightfully graphic and morbid puns you will find blessing your screen whilst on Bulletstorm. I did hear they have been getting whined at for some though, like “gag reflex”, now I cannot help but notice that this game is stamped with a large 18 sticker, if you’re 18 or over and you’re offended by this, then you are an idiot. But I digress, I hear you cry why oh why and how do they implant such delightful puns in this game? Well, by getting over the top morbid kills, like kicking people off high areas, you get experience which you can spend on buying bigger guns, better ammo, and a fancy thing called a “thumper”. Now, this baby isn’t a grenade launcher, it is better, a lot better. It hurls people into the air, and if there are spikes above them, it makes a damn pretty mess.
So I hear you question the over powered thing that is the thumper, and if I’m mistaken then start questioning!
Basically it’s not unlimited, it has ammo, like a gun, and it takes awhile to fire. So running in with your dick waving and thumper shouting “Time to fly bitches!” doesn’t work, usually. But hey, it’s damn awesome even if you die.
The weapons in your arsenal range from big drills, to a simple (But brutal) kick. The kind of kick that makes you shout “This is, SPARTA!” Everytime you use it, sadly to no pun of that degree in the game, but hey, if you can kick you don’t need the pun right? I mean you’re too awesome for film/book references.
On top of that you can have charged ammo that lets you do everything from fire flares to becoming a dentist. But all this, this is not the best.
The best, in my opinion is probably the leash, this lasso-like leash can grab enemies and hurl things at them. This is not only bloody spectacular to watch, fun to do and gory as sin. But it also gives the game a unique feel, it’s a bit like playing a good Indiana Jones game, but in the future, and less shit.
So, this game was made by EPIC, a company that isn’t exactly the best for a storyline, but not the worst. This game sort of stumbles in the middle, like most of EPIC’s games. There’s some sadness, some twists, but best of all there is a giant dinosaur, and he kicks arse.
The humour is, I don’t know whether to say sick or brilliant, so I’ll go with hilariously psychotic, something that so few companies can pull off.
To finish, this game is brilliant, and to all those people who think the game can be resolved by kicking, you are wrong. But even if you could, who cares? Usually you would resolve a game by shooting a lot. The video proves that the whole game can’t be resolved by kicking. So I say to you, go now! And purchase this game.
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